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Sometimes, things get cray and you need help finding “you” again.
I decided to potty train BOTH my twins this weekend in one of those “potty training boot camp” style exercises. You know, the kind where you just let them run around in underwear for three days and they pee all over everything and this is supposed to teach them to use the toilet? Ack.
It was HALF successful-I potty trained one. However, once she figured out she could get a reward for peeing she wanted to go every five minutes, and that isn’t an exaggeration. The other one didn’t care and peed on the floor a grand total of 15 times in 2 days before I just gave up.
I was EXHAUSTED. I felt like a wreck, and I looked even worse.
One of the hardest things about motherhood for me has been the exhaustion. It takes so much work to keep those tiny humans alive! Once your done giving, giving, giving all day, there’s simply no time left for yourself. When that happens day after day, there’s such a loss of identity that comes with it. You forget who you are when you’re just a diaper changing machine.
It’s been six years since I became a diaper changing machine myself, and I have a few little tricks I use to feel more like myself again when these days hit. Here they are, in no particular order 🙂
1) Take a shower
This sounds like a no brainer but how often do we put that on the back burner? Turn on a show, give your kid the Ipad, put them in their room with books and toys and the baby monitor for thirty minutes, whatever you have to do. TAKE a SHOWER. If you wait until everything is done, you won’t do it, trust me. I put on my favorite music, put a few drops of my favorite essential oil in the bottom of the shower, turn up the heat, and stand in the spray. Heck, most of the time I just sit down on the floor of the shower when I’m done. I like to use that time to just BE. It’s quiet, at least for a few, and I can think about anything I want. Don’t be afraid of this. You need a minute. Take it. Find you in your brain in the warm shower stall.
2) Have a quick makeup/cleanup routine
Some days the shower doesn’t happen. However, I just feel so much more with it when I don’t have to look in the mirror and see my haggard mug staring back at me. When I want to feel alive again I do the following: Spray my hair full of dry shampoo, slap it up in a bun, throw on a cute headband. Then I wash my face and put on powder, blush, and mascara. Done. It didn’t take me long, but at least I don’t look like I’ve given up completely. Usually when you look in the mirror, you find you staring back.
3) Turn on some favorite music.
Enough with the wiggles already! Play that Dave Matthews song from college you love. The kids will love it too! Music has such a powerful pull over our lives, it can take us back to a moment in time instantly. If you need to reconnect with a piece of yourself, I bet you can think of at least one song that would help you do it. For me it’s the entire 90s playlist on Spotify. No judgement here. Listen to the lyrics. You’ll probably find you in there somewhere.
Well I said no particular order, but I really should have put this first. This will do more than anything, I think, to help you find you. Take a quick moment and ask the Lord to re-center you. Ask him to fill you heart with peace and to show you the beauty of your days, even though they feel so long and pointless. Then be willing to see it.
I see you Mama. I know the days are SO long right now, I’m in the trenches with you. However, I’m finding that each day my kids gain a little more independence and with that, I find a little more of myself again. Life is a circle, so don’t be too hard on yourself. You’re waiting on the other side 🙂
To go a step further in finding yourself, read about how you can discover your personal style here.